"classy is liking the bling bling in the mouth..."

"honey, you get your legs up that high and something's bound to not look good..."

"i'm young and agile... and supple... and probably drunk..."

"they sound like they're the kind of tree hugging people who would wash paper plates..."

"i'm gonna be so rich, i'll be able to wipe my ass with dollar bills!..."

"as soon as i'm done procrastinating, i'm gonna get something done..."

"male strip clubs are bullshit!...i don't wanna waste my money watching some dude dance in a speedo...i want dicks!...i want balls on my forehead!...i'm just sayin' it's just not fair we don't get the same as guys do at female strip clubs..."